Change

I step into a room, all goes silent, I look around, nothing has changed, but my stomach drops, my head whirls. I have to sit down, a tear comes to my eye, if anyone could see me they may thing I was crazy. Nothing in the room had changed, everything is exactly where it has always been, but stepping into this room has knocked the wind out of me, taken me to my knees. A few minutes and I will be fine, but I know now that it is real, change is happening.

Change is one of the most constant things in life and still one of the hardest things to accept. Just the thought of change can send us into a panic attack, make us feel like our world is coming down around us. But the big changes they send us for a roller coaster ride, they play with every emotion we have and they test every limit. We think that some people handle change better, I don't think we do, I think some of us hide it better, some of us know how to avoid the cues that will let reality sink in. But we all have our moment, our break, that moment that our brains begin to reset and flood our body with emotions.

(I still recall losing a loved one, through the funeral and all leading up to it, I had been the rock, never shaking, trying to support everyone. So many tears, so much loss for the family... Then one night I went for a run, out of nowhere it hit me, for no reason, no real cues, my brain just finally let the connection happen, I literally ran off the road and collapsed in the ditch. A few minutes later I got up and finished my run. No one saw it, I still appeared strong, but I had had my break.)

Change comes in so many forms, gaining a loved ones, losing a loved ones, moving, getting a promotion, losing a job or just starting a new routine. Sometime we wake up in the morning, look at ourselves in the mirror and say it is time for change, other times it is forced upon us. No matter the source it is tough. It is a battle we hate to fight and it always means we will lose something. We cannot avoid it, if we choose not to change, then those around us will, and we will lose them. But if we accept change then we can gain so much, we can have some control of the situation and find the new exciting things in our life.  

They say, every time a door closes a new one opens. So as that door closes take control, start small, you can't control everything and never will, but find a constant and hold on to it. Then look around, find something new to move toward, take the memories and lessons of your past, don't let them go because your changing, embrace them and let them guide you to the new door. Open your mind, open your heart and scream to the hills. The sun will always rise, and when that light hits your face take it in, let it warm your sole. So change hurts, it always will, and it will always hurt everyone. But those that can accept it will grow, and become more then they ever knew they could be. Let your memories guide you, accept your future and become new everyday!

Motivate, inspire and find your focus.

Becoming Happy!

In the world today there is an expectation of happiness. An expectation for us to all waltz around with a smile on our face appreciating everything we have. Anything less is looked upon as troublesome or sorrow-some. So when we are not happy many of us put up a mask, sometime that mask is not enough so we build walls. We create a persona for everyone to see that is at least content. This way no one asks questions and we don't have to admit that we are not happy.

Sometimes we wear this mask for a weak, sometimes a month or sometimes for years. If we wear this mask to long we begin to lose ourselves, we lose sight of the good things in life and start taking a dark view on so much. We squirrel ourselves away from the world and avoid true contact, true emotion because the slightest crack in our mask, in our walls, may let someone see who we really are and the reality is we don't know ourselves, we are scared to look in the mirror.

As time goes though we get a taste of happiness, we see joy around us and we want that for ourselves. We reach for it but realize this will create a crack in the mask, it will be out of character, outside of the persona of contentment we have created, so we retreat. People mock us, or chastise us for being out of character and we retreat further. As this moment build we start to see only one escape from the mask we have built. For each of us this escape will be different, but the impact will be similar.

To escape we will risk losing everything we know, we will risk being banished by those we love, we may lose everything for our own happiness. Until you have felt this weight you cannot understand its intensity, this weight will crush many, consume them and they loose themselves. Some find the strength, they step out and make the change to find happiness. Those around are shocked, they are scarred, they are confused, the content person they knew is spreading their wings, they are not just working in the background now they are shining brighter then they ever have.

The challenge with shining when we were dull is we have felt pain, we have been the support system for many, so though we are shining, we are extremely tender. We feel pain extremely deep, we know we have hurt people as we have been hurt ourselves. We are wearers of masks, so to be truly happy we have to truly feel pain, we cannot show this pain, but have to shine, we cannot show the fear of what we may lose, we have to smile and focus on what we are gaining. At any moment when we hear we have hurt someone we will be crushed, hopefully only for a moment as the brightest light can be extinguished with such a time bit of darkness. So we keep shining, push to be the brightest light and focus on what we are gaining.

When we have been a dull glow to come out and shine is a shock to the system, it is a shock to our own system and a shock to those around us. We will be stupid in moment of happiness, when it has been so long since we have felt this joy. We will see so much of what we had as a dull light and may even fear it as we cannot go back, we will look down on it for a time, as we cannot afford to go back there. The mask we had is one we cannot put back on, so it becomes ugly. As time goes and we settle into our new light we will look back on that mask and see some of the beauty, we will recognize the good that came from it, we will not put it back on but we will accept it.

So I ask, when you see someone shining, see someone happy. Know that they deserve to be happy, that they are probably still hurting, but are trying to embrace the light. If they leave you behind, just keep being positive and they will find you again. Don't be the dark cloud, but the strength to help people shine, as we all know it is tougher to be happy then to fade into the shadows. Today be a light!!

Motivate, inspire and find your focus!