anxiety

I live with anxiety, I won't say I suffer from anxiety as for the most part I have adapted and learned to accept my anxiety. At the same time, unchecked I sometimes do suffer and more over my family does. 

Anxiety is deep routed in the human species, it was what kept us alive when we had greater dangers around us all the time. For the most part as we have built safer homes and communities the human body has made adjustments and adjusted to our lives. Unfortunately for some of us it is still on high alert, this can come from many causes in our lives but is truly not uncommon.

My anxiety hits me in two primary ways. One is physically, through the shoulders and down to my stomach. The other is my head. This is the big one, my head is naturally a bit of an echo chamber, I analyze everything, but when my anxiety grows the echo chamber gets louder, thoughts don't clear after a couple sounding like we are use to hearing in a canyon or a cave. Instead it can get to be more like reverb on an an electric guitar, it consumer's me, and I can't clear the volume. I become distracted, I try to quit the sound but I end up blocking everything out. The challenge is it is like a frog in water as it starts to boil. You don't notice the change, your assumenyour being a bit extra diligent... and then you realize you are obsessing on thoughts, you are distracted and your really not sure how long you have been gone. The realization can often be the biggest blow. I work to put the pieces back together, I am gentle to myself and often more sensitive to this around me. I build back up and carry on. Some never notice, many may assume I am tired and well one person is always here. 

This is my life, from it I have developed some amazing skills, from it I have also hurt people and made quick decisions that have had major impacts on my life. I have spent the last year trying to understand it better, learning more about the human condition and knowing I won't get rid of it, but seeing how I can live with it. 

Still I fall down, but I fall down carrying a big load then I could have in my past. One piece at I time I put the puzzle back together again, checking pieces for cracks, cleaning up little flaws and hoping that maybe this will be the last time I fall this far. 

Inspire, motivate and find your focus. 

A point in History

in the last 12 months has been one of the most interesting times many of us will see. So many things happening, world wide efforts and all people on the planet given an opportunity to come together to beat a single threat. That's the Macro...

 
On the micro side we have all taken our own roller coaster. Many of us have a new perspective on life, many of us are trying to find our path again and a number of us have just continued to grow. 

Through history events like this have brought groups together and most often redirect society. Its brings us to a crucial point in time once again. We choose to focus on community and become a cohesive unit or we create a divide that will take decades to heal. Right now is that time. What are you doing? Are you strong enough to try and understand others perspectives or are you still struggling with your demons and need to figure yourself out first? 

In the end if we can't work together if we keep pushing out and pushing for levels of independence that devide us as community we will suffer. As they did in the past tribes will divide and communities will drift. Embrace your community, embrace differences but recognize all our similarities.

Inspire, motivate and find your focus.