anxiety

I live with anxiety, I won't say I suffer from anxiety as for the most part I have adapted and learned to accept my anxiety. At the same time, unchecked I sometimes do suffer and more over my family does. 

Anxiety is deep routed in the human species, it was what kept us alive when we had greater dangers around us all the time. For the most part as we have built safer homes and communities the human body has made adjustments and adjusted to our lives. Unfortunately for some of us it is still on high alert, this can come from many causes in our lives but is truly not uncommon.

My anxiety hits me in two primary ways. One is physically, through the shoulders and down to my stomach. The other is my head. This is the big one, my head is naturally a bit of an echo chamber, I analyze everything, but when my anxiety grows the echo chamber gets louder, thoughts don't clear after a couple sounding like we are use to hearing in a canyon or a cave. Instead it can get to be more like reverb on an an electric guitar, it consumer's me, and I can't clear the volume. I become distracted, I try to quit the sound but I end up blocking everything out. The challenge is it is like a frog in water as it starts to boil. You don't notice the change, your assumenyour being a bit extra diligent... and then you realize you are obsessing on thoughts, you are distracted and your really not sure how long you have been gone. The realization can often be the biggest blow. I work to put the pieces back together, I am gentle to myself and often more sensitive to this around me. I build back up and carry on. Some never notice, many may assume I am tired and well one person is always here. 

This is my life, from it I have developed some amazing skills, from it I have also hurt people and made quick decisions that have had major impacts on my life. I have spent the last year trying to understand it better, learning more about the human condition and knowing I won't get rid of it, but seeing how I can live with it. 

Still I fall down, but I fall down carrying a big load then I could have in my past. One piece at I time I put the puzzle back together again, checking pieces for cracks, cleaning up little flaws and hoping that maybe this will be the last time I fall this far. 

Inspire, motivate and find your focus. 

A point in History

in the last 12 months has been one of the most interesting times many of us will see. So many things happening, world wide efforts and all people on the planet given an opportunity to come together to beat a single threat. That's the Macro...

 
On the micro side we have all taken our own roller coaster. Many of us have a new perspective on life, many of us are trying to find our path again and a number of us have just continued to grow. 

Through history events like this have brought groups together and most often redirect society. Its brings us to a crucial point in time once again. We choose to focus on community and become a cohesive unit or we create a divide that will take decades to heal. Right now is that time. What are you doing? Are you strong enough to try and understand others perspectives or are you still struggling with your demons and need to figure yourself out first? 

In the end if we can't work together if we keep pushing out and pushing for levels of independence that devide us as community we will suffer. As they did in the past tribes will divide and communities will drift. Embrace your community, embrace differences but recognize all our similarities.

Inspire, motivate and find your focus. 

Anxiety

I sit quietly, a proverbial weight on my chest. My breathing not as smooth as I would like it. My stomach starts to turn. The weight of the world pushes down on me. My greatest flaw, my desire to make everyone happy sits heavy on me today. Deep in my mind I know it is all in my control, but in this moment I feel like nothing is.

So often the weight of the world presses down on many of us. We look around and wonder how many others feel this way, how are those people so happy, is it a mask or true happiness. For many it is happiness, and for one simple reason, they focus on making themselves happy, they know they can only control how they react to the world, not how the world reacts to them. 

Take a moment, breath and take control back. Remember you need to be yourself, you need to be happy and that comes from within. You must let the comments and looks role off you back and pick yourself up. Once you release yourself from others judgement you will start to feel free, one thought at a time, it is a journey and you will get there.

Inspire, motivate and find your focus. 

Self Reflection

We move forward day to day, sometimes conscious, sometimes not. At some point we stop and look at ourselves in the mirror, have I learned those wrinkles, what lesson did that grey hair come from?

Self reflection can be scary, especially when we don't recognize ourselves for a moment. Time has a way of shaping us, especially when we are just keeping up. We start to get tired, and slowly we still our selves down to raw emotion, we survive. We look in the mirror and we dont recognize ourselves, so we start building a wall, we don't want to completely lose who we are. We work harder and the wall gets higher, we build stronger defences and slowly find ourselves on an well fortified island, to high up to know when someone is helping or fighting us.... we look in the mirror and see a ghost.

Most of us have gone through this one way or another, we start making big changes more out of fear, trying to find what we once thought was humanity. We lost ourselves in our emotions and, well, emotions are irrational beasts built for survival, not for striving. 

Take a moment each day to get to know yourself again. Reflect on your lessons, don't get scared or mad if you haven't reached your goal. Reflect, see all the lessons, get up, dust yourself off and try again. Sometimes we see a second or third or tenth attempt as pitiful, I was often told second place is the first loser. But really trying again is what truly makes us human, that is the meaning of life, getting up again and being awesome. Believe in yourself, and know that all those changes you have made are good, they are part of who you are. When you reflect try to find the balance between emotional and rational. Listen to your calm mind and you will concur. 

Inspire, motivate and find your focus.

doubt

Some days I feel like my brain is infected. As if a poison is slowly taking over. I feel exhaustion, and fear, I feel doubt and regret, but I still feel drive. 

And I guess the reality is in many ways my brain is poisoned. Doubt is poison! It builds from small failures, it grows from small disappointments. You start to focus on the bad, you start to lose sight of the success. Doubt can easily become depression, and often build into anxiety. We sit with screens in front of us, not looking at our lives but those of our peers, we look at their lives from miles away but then reflect on ours with a microscope. We build fear that we are not equal. This doesn't happen in large movements but small unconscious thoughts. 

Break the cycle, reinforce your success. Stop peering into the lives of others and be present in your own. We are all waging our own battles, some of us have words for it, others know the feelings and some are completely consumed. So start adding those suttle pat's on the back, start complementing people for their small success. Take in nature and let it overwhelm the doubt for once. One day, one step at a time.

Motivate, inspire and find your focus!

Ive got this.

I've got this.

How does it sound when you say those words? Do you add emphasis, I've got this! Or is it a quiet voice almost a whisper trying to convince yourself.

We all have a little voice in our head, when we are confident we echo, I've got this! Is a statement of confidence. When we are struggling, I've got this is a whisper, a hope, sometimes a question. If we fall down, sometimes we start answering that question, with "maybe..." or "no you don't". We slip away and our little voice becomes an anchor.

We need to break that chain of pessimism,  we need to find that confidence. We need to believe in ourselves, put the work in so we can shout it to the mountains.

Wake up and tell yourself "I've got this! I am going to kick butt!" Use the same words you hear in your head but make them strong. Shake off that whisper and shout. You've done this before, you have more experience, it's time to shine.

Believe in yourself, let a slip be a learning lesson, let a bad day be in the past. Focus on taking control one statement at a time. Drown out your whisper and hear your voice boom!

I've got this!!

Split Values.

How do you truly reflect when that means seeing your faults, admitting them to yourself and then... and then the world. When the world has thought you there is no room for error. 2nd place is the first loser, and then the world thought you, don't hurt anyone feelings, make sure to always be positive.

My generation has grown up in a simple time with old rules, that transitioned into a complex, over messaged, confusing pile of emotions. We all want what is best for those around us, to the point that many of us forget about ourselves. People are so sensitive that instead of asking us if we want to talk they suggest we should be medicated to help with our depression. There is a pill for everything and a new gadget to make it easier.

So how do we find ourselves, how do we become amazing while balancing the expectations of the generations before us with the generations after us. How do we accept that we will hurt some people and sometimes in doing this lift others up. How do we reduce the filter without taking it right off. I wish there was  simple answer, but that's the thing, nothing is simple anymore... until we find ourselves that is. Once we choose who we will be, once we accept that some people aren't going to like what we have to say, we can move forward. We can challenge our norms and find out who we are.

As we strive forward building our own future we can create a balance between traditional values and sensitivity​ for everyone. We will be the change, we have the power within us we just have to stand up and speak. Stand up and take what is ours. 

Inspire, motivate and find your focus.