Change

I step into a room, all goes silent, I look around, nothing has changed, but my stomach drops, my head whirls. I have to sit down, a tear comes to my eye, if anyone could see me they may thing I was crazy. Nothing in the room had changed, everything is exactly where it has always been, but stepping into this room has knocked the wind out of me, taken me to my knees. A few minutes and I will be fine, but I know now that it is real, change is happening.

Change is one of the most constant things in life and still one of the hardest things to accept. Just the thought of change can send us into a panic attack, make us feel like our world is coming down around us. But the big changes they send us for a roller coaster ride, they play with every emotion we have and they test every limit. We think that some people handle change better, I don't think we do, I think some of us hide it better, some of us know how to avoid the cues that will let reality sink in. But we all have our moment, our break, that moment that our brains begin to reset and flood our body with emotions.

(I still recall losing a loved one, through the funeral and all leading up to it, I had been the rock, never shaking, trying to support everyone. So many tears, so much loss for the family... Then one night I went for a run, out of nowhere it hit me, for no reason, no real cues, my brain just finally let the connection happen, I literally ran off the road and collapsed in the ditch. A few minutes later I got up and finished my run. No one saw it, I still appeared strong, but I had had my break.)

Change comes in so many forms, gaining a loved ones, losing a loved ones, moving, getting a promotion, losing a job or just starting a new routine. Sometime we wake up in the morning, look at ourselves in the mirror and say it is time for change, other times it is forced upon us. No matter the source it is tough. It is a battle we hate to fight and it always means we will lose something. We cannot avoid it, if we choose not to change, then those around us will, and we will lose them. But if we accept change then we can gain so much, we can have some control of the situation and find the new exciting things in our life.  

They say, every time a door closes a new one opens. So as that door closes take control, start small, you can't control everything and never will, but find a constant and hold on to it. Then look around, find something new to move toward, take the memories and lessons of your past, don't let them go because your changing, embrace them and let them guide you to the new door. Open your mind, open your heart and scream to the hills. The sun will always rise, and when that light hits your face take it in, let it warm your sole. So change hurts, it always will, and it will always hurt everyone. But those that can accept it will grow, and become more then they ever knew they could be. Let your memories guide you, accept your future and become new everyday!

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